Our society is so fast paced we sometimes get the wrong notion that we should just be able to deal with things and let them go, all in one motion. This could be because we now see all material possessions as replaceable – there is always the “next best thing” ahead.
Experience and life teaches us that our emotional life works differently however. Even when our faith in God is strong, even when we are relying on God and friends and family to take us through tough times, there are hurts and pains that take a long time to heal.
So here is a reminder to you that it is okay to hurt. It is okay to cry. Grief will take you through its paces at its own time. I leave you with a wonderfully written poem, a prayer and blessing for those who are grieving.
When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence.
Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
Flickers of guilt kindle regret
For all that was left unsaid or undone.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.
It becomes hard to trust yourself.
All you can depend on now is that
Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.
by John O’Donohue